I used to think I was the only person in the world who disliked the dating process but recently I’ve been meeting people who share my exact feelings towards this very awkward phase of life. The whole thing just stresses me out. Getting to know someone new or old, asking questions and sharing your life knowing that everything you say will and can be used against you, it’s extremely uncomfortable. Well I’m officially sick of it…kinda. Not because I’m a serial dater or anything but because the whole idea of getting to know someone and not knowing if they have the right intentions is just draining.
So, what makes it draining you might ask… well my issue is the lack of sincerity and the pretense. I wish people would just be 100% vulnerable and honest all the time. Like let’s imagine what dating and relationships would look like if we didn’t care to sell ourselves to a potential boo but instead were just 100% honest. What’s the point of providing a false impression of yourself while trying to get to know someone else? How exactly does that help either of you?
Also, what’s your reason for even dating in the first place? The lack of being intentional just seriously blows my mind. I do not understand why people waste their time wasting time. If you’re not interested… keep it moving. If you don’t know what you want… keep it moving. Don’t go searching for a job you’re not ready to have.
The thing is, I think dating should be more like an interview and less like elections. Imagine yourself as a fortune 500 company looking to hire a CEO. You want someone who is qualified for the job but also open to learning about and effectively running your company. On the other hand, like the elections, we act like politicians who say the right things and make empty promises trying to convince everyone else that we’re the “right choice.” We should be looking for the best person to achieve our goals with not convincing somebody that we’re worth their time.
Trying to sell yourself to another person should never be the goal in dating. Dating just to date and hanging out should not be the goal in dating. Dating should lead to marriage and why you marry is more important than who you marry. There should be a purpose for your marriage and I believe dating should be the process we use to find who will help us achieve our why.
Find your why and God will help you find the Who!
Lots of love!