Dating 101

Dating 101

I used to think I was the only person in the world who disliked the dating process but recently I’ve been meeting people who share my exact feelings towards this very awkward phase of life. The whole thing just stresses me out. Getting to know someone new or old, asking questions and sharing your life knowing that everything you say will and can be used against you, it’s extremely uncomfortable. Well I’m officially sick of it…kinda. Not because I’m a serial dater or anything but because the whole idea of getting to know someone and not knowing if they have the right intentions is just draining.

So, what makes it draining you might ask… well my issue is the lack of sincerity and the pretense. I wish people would just be 100% vulnerable and honest all the time. Like let’s imagine what dating and relationships would look like if we didn’t care to sell ourselves to a potential boo but instead were just 100% honest. What’s the point of providing a false impression of yourself while trying to get to know someone else? How exactly does that help either of you?

Also, what’s your reason for even dating in the first place? The lack of being intentional just seriously blows my mind. I do not understand why people waste their time wasting time. If you’re not interested… keep it moving. If you don’t know what you want… keep it moving. Don’t go searching for a job you’re not ready to have.

The thing is, I think dating should be more like an interview and less like elections. Imagine yourself as a fortune 500 company looking to hire a CEO. You want someone who is qualified for the job but also open to learning about and effectively running your company. On the other hand, like the elections, we act like politicians who say the right things and make empty promises trying to convince everyone else that we’re the “right choice.”  We should be looking for the best person to achieve our goals with not convincing somebody that we’re worth their time.

Trying to sell yourself to another person should never be the goal in dating. Dating just to date and hanging out should not be the goal in dating. Dating should lead to marriage and why you marry is more important than who you marry. There should be a purpose for your marriage and I believe dating should be the process we use to find who will help us achieve our why.

Find your why and God will help you find the Who!

Lots of love!

-MzB

The Willow

The Willow

So I decided to officially start my own wedding and event planning company in August of 2017. After moving to Maryland to begin my new chapter, I decided it was time to step out in faith and do something big. Planning had always been a passion of mine, so why not get paid to do it, I thought. The thing is, when I moved here, I was scared to step out. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the Maryland Wedding Industry, it is supersaturated with Nigerian wedding planners. I didn’t want to become another Nigerian planner. I knew I wanted to do something different but I didn’t know how to separate myself.

I remember doing research on all the planners in Maryland and it just seemed like there were a million and one already here. How do I stand out, what makes me different, why would people want to work with someone with no website, no clients, no Instagram, no reviews and frankly no experience in Maryland? All these horrid thoughts crowded my head but I was sure that this is what God wanted me to do. I began looking for people to shadow and intern with hoping someone would want free help, at the end of the day I had 4 years experience planning and running weddings, so why would they say no? Fortunately for me, all I received was no after no after no. Why fortunately, well it was God’s way of telling me to be bold and courageous and not to be afraid. He was telling me that I didn’t have to hide under the covering of someone else’s business because He will support me and help me build mine.

Now it was time to create a business… what will the name be? I tried to come up with names but nothing seemed right. I even went as far as to recruit family and friends and bribe my little cousins with a share of a no-name business if they came up with great name. All those efforts yielded nothing….Nothing! I remember one day while praying, I knelt down on the floor in the room and said “God i will not leave this spot until you give me a name”, I guess it was my little version of Jacob wrestling with God. A few minutes later I heard very clearly “Willow“. I remember thinking… “huh, Willow…? Like Willow Smith? God what is a willow?” It sounded so weird but it was just perfect, well compared to my previous idea of Sashey’s Soirees , LOL.

So why Willow? Well, I googled Willow I found, “slender, graceful, resilient, determined, courageous and beautiful”. All words that I hoped to God defined me… well slender maybe if i keep going to the gym, but the rest just seemed so perfect. It was like God was encouraging me to become more like a Willow. The next day I spoke to my Aunt who said Willow… that’s perfect you can name your event center The Willow and I laughed because i knew this is a dream that God placed on my heart and I am excited to see it happen.

So where is Willow now and how is it going? In the 5 months The Willow has been alive, I have booked 4 weddings. Can somebody say GOD IS FAITHFUL!!! With no reviews, no brochures, no pictures, no MD experience, no nothing… God continues to show himself. He has shown me that all it takes is a little faith

Join me on my wedding journey… follow @thewillowevents

Lots of Love!

-MzB

 

For wedding planning inquiries…click here!

info@thewillowevents.com

240-389-3164.