Valentines Day…What’s that?

Valentines Day…What’s that?

Valentine’s day… what’s that? Not only have I never had a Valentine, in the many years that I have been alive, I have only celebrated Valentines day once.. thanks to my awesome college roomies in 2011.

You see in my home, Valentines day was not Valentines day that the world has grown to obsess over. It wasn’t a day I spent out with bae or being all romantical with a guy who claimed to love me. In actuality it took me a while to understand why people were acting so crazy when this day was not about them but it was actually about my parents. For the past 27 years, Valentines day has been my parents anniversary and that’s what I have always known it to be and celebrated. It is the day I get to celebrate the awesome marriage my parents have displayed in front of me my whole life. Not only do they showcase what a Godly happy marriage should be like on this day, they display it every single day. Don’t get me wrong, no marriage is perfect, but these two awesome people I get to call my parents have shown me what God wants marriage to look like. They have shown me how to forgive, how to be humble, how to serve, how to love and how to embody Christ in your marriage.

Until recently, I did not know how blessed I am to have parents who don’t fight in front of you, parents who pray for you, parents who want to ensure that the love  between each and every single member of the family is unbroken. I didn’t know that this was not the norm until I started talking to other people about growing up and how their parents were. You see for me, waking up everyday at 6 am for family devotion is normal. Talking to your parents about life and relationships is normal. Laughing and acting a damn fool in the house is normal. Little did I know that all these “normal” things are blessings from God and not to be taken for granted.

For many of us, the relationship we see between our parents has a huge impact on how we see and define relationships for ourselves in the future. The picture of love and marriage that my parents have chosen to paint for my siblings and I is one that has molded and shaped my thinking about what my future marriage should look like. It has helped me to be excited to have devotion with my children and husband and ensure there is always laughter in my home. It has given me a positive image of a happy marriage, one that I am grateful to God for.

So on this Valentines day.. aka my parents wedding anniversary, I say to married couples, be careful what picture you are painting for your children. Be the example of what a godly marriage should look like every single day and not just one day a year. Your children are always watching and most learned habits are unspoken. To single people, whatever you have been through is not your fault. Learn to forgive your parents; They can only pour out of what they were given.  Let God heal you by letting go of all your hurt. Your past hurts are not an indication of what your future will look like.

And finally to my parents…thank you mommy and daddy for showing me what love looks like everyday and not just on February 14th. 

Happy 31st Anniversary. I wish you many more!

Happy birthday to my baby bro, Valentine 😜!

-MzB

Let’s talk about Sex, baby ;)

Let’s talk about Sex, baby ;)

After watching a video series on Relationship Goals, my mind was literally blown. It was soooo blown that I just started screaming and yelling while driving home from Maryland to Philly. Part 7 in particular, rocked my world. It’s one thing to have something told to you all your life, its another thing to hear different perspectives on what people’s beliefs are and how God is convicting young Christians.

As a Christian, all my life I have heard sex before marriage is bad but for the life of me nobody ever said why. Nigerians painted the picture of not being able to wear white at your wedding, pregnancy as a consequence and the potential that you would catch an incurable disease and DIE. All of which fall under the scare you away from sex plan, but eventually the fire looks more and more tempting.

I enjoy having pre-marital sex conversations with young people because many of us seem to be very confused as to what we believe and why. I have  heard many different opinions, like the ones listed below, as to why people do what they do.

  • Why wouldn’t you test drive the car before you buy it?
  • What if you’re not sexually compatible?
  • What if he/she is horrible in bed?
  • Why save your virginity and eventually get disappointed?
  • If we know we’re getting married to each other eventually, why can’t we start now?
  • It’s just sex it doesn’t hurt anyone.

I’m not one to judge and I believe each person can decide what they feel based on their personal convictions, so i’m just going to drop this video and some scripture below. Please share your thoughts, confidentially or comment below.

Watch this video and drop your thoughts!!!!

Proverbs 5:15-17 ” Drink water from only one well- share your love only with your wife. Why spill the water of your springs in the streets, having sex with just anyone? You should reserve it for yourselves. Never share it with strangers.”

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 “God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin… live in holiness and honor– not in lustful passion.”

1 Thessalonians 2-4 “… our purpose is to please God, not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts.”

1 Corinthians 6:12-20You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is good for you. And even though “I am allowed to do anything,” I must not become a slave to anything. 13 You say, “Food was made for the stomach, and the stomach for food.” (This is true, though someday God will do away with both of them.) But you can’t say that our bodies were made for sexual immorality. They were made for the Lord, and the Lord cares about our bodies. 15 Don’t you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! 16 And don’t you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, “The two are united into one.”17 But the person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him.18 Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. 19 Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, 20 for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.

Lots of love

-MzB