The struggle is real

The struggle is real

Transparency. One word not a lot of people seem to be fond of. Well like everyone else, I struggle with transparency. Up until recently, I liked to consider myself an open book. I thought because I tell people part of who I am, it meant I was open. Well lately I have learned that transparency without vulnerability is no transparency at all.

For the past six weeks, I cohosted a connect group with a friend of mine. Myself along with 18-20 other people met on a regular basis to discuss singleness, dating and healthy relationships. Throughout the course of these weeks, I quickly learned that people will only open up to you when you learn to be vulnerable and transparent with them.

Like everyone else in the world, I have a past but my story is one of redemption. You see I have been through hurt, rejection, abuse, heartbreak and many other things that are only a part of who I am today but do not define me. Learning to embrace my journey gives me the strength I have to live life to its fullest. The love of Christ teaches me to surrender my past to the only one who gives me hope for the future.

In these past weeks I have learned that my past does not define my future. I have learned that being open and vulnerable provides me with the opportunity to get hurt but I must decide if I will allow people to use my past as a weapon to hurt me. You see you decide if you will be offended by how others view or digest your past. My wise friend once said, offense is a choice. If I share who I am and you people react a certain way, I can choose to be offended or not.  Your past is yours and what people think about it does not matter.

So, when it comes to transparency remember that your level of transparency should not be determined by how people will react or what people will think. What people think doesn’t matter… what matters is what God says and knows about you! Your security in Christ should allow you do life with others without any fears or worries. Do not let anyone’s potential opinions of you force you into a walking around with a mask on. Live your life. You were set free when Jesus died for your sins.

Lots of Love ❤

-MzB

Dating 101

Dating 101

I used to think I was the only person in the world who disliked the dating process but recently I’ve been meeting people who share my exact feelings towards this very awkward phase of life. The whole thing just stresses me out. Getting to know someone new or old, asking questions and sharing your life knowing that everything you say will and can be used against you, it’s extremely uncomfortable. Well I’m officially sick of it…kinda. Not because I’m a serial dater or anything but because the whole idea of getting to know someone and not knowing if they have the right intentions is just draining.

So, what makes it draining you might ask… well my issue is the lack of sincerity and the pretense. I wish people would just be 100% vulnerable and honest all the time. Like let’s imagine what dating and relationships would look like if we didn’t care to sell ourselves to a potential boo but instead were just 100% honest. What’s the point of providing a false impression of yourself while trying to get to know someone else? How exactly does that help either of you?

Also, what’s your reason for even dating in the first place? The lack of being intentional just seriously blows my mind. I do not understand why people waste their time wasting time. If you’re not interested… keep it moving. If you don’t know what you want… keep it moving. Don’t go searching for a job you’re not ready to have.

The thing is, I think dating should be more like an interview and less like elections. Imagine yourself as a fortune 500 company looking to hire a CEO. You want someone who is qualified for the job but also open to learning about and effectively running your company. On the other hand, like the elections, we act like politicians who say the right things and make empty promises trying to convince everyone else that we’re the “right choice.”  We should be looking for the best person to achieve our goals with not convincing somebody that we’re worth their time.

Trying to sell yourself to another person should never be the goal in dating. Dating just to date and hanging out should not be the goal in dating. Dating should lead to marriage and why you marry is more important than who you marry. There should be a purpose for your marriage and I believe dating should be the process we use to find who will help us achieve our why.

Find your why and God will help you find the Who!

Lots of love!

-MzB

Trust

Trust

It is so hard to trust these days, I am not surprised that many people have trust issues. Agree with me or not, we all have something that stops us from fully trusting someone, a situation, or a decision. What is the root of our trust issues… what causes us to be only 100% secure in what we can do, that we find it so hard to give people the opportunity to let us down? I honestly believe that lack of trust is a result of our fear of losing control.

It is extremely difficult to put my trust into any situation or person knowing fully well that people will most likely let you down. We are flawed; people are not perfect! Because something bad happens does not mean it will forever be bad. Negative outcomes are all part of the learning process. If you do not fail, how will you grow? This lack of trust is a result of not knowing and wanting to control every outcome. We sometimes believe that if we are in complete control of all things, they will always turn out the way we want. New flash people, there is only one thing that is guaranteed… death and even that is as unpredictable as whether or not it rains in Mongolia tomorrow.

One definition of trust is an assured reliance on the character, ability, strength or truth of something or someone. Another says absolute confidence in a thing or person. God is the only person guaranteed to always be good, absolute and extremely trustworthy. No other person or a thing is unwavering. God’s love is absolute, his plans for us are perfect and He is ALWAYS good. Although His ways are not our ways, and his plans are not always are plans, they will ALWAYS work out for our good. Losing all your control to God is having absolute trust and faith in Him. He says repeatedly that He is for us! You might not understand the situations you find yourself or things you go through, but He wrote the story of your life and trust me with Him you win in the end!

I sincerely believe that Faith in God helps you trust. Stop trying to control all things. You trying to have complete control of everything does not mean that it will all be good in the end. At the end of the day, you will never have complete control of everything. Learn to surrender, be vulnerable and trust a little, you never know what the future might bring.

Lots of love!

-MzB

Untitled Design

Questions that need answers….

Questions that need answers….

Would you or wouldn’t you… fill in the blank!

So lately many questions have been coming up that I honestly believe need answers. When I talk to my friends and family members about these topics, people shrivel up and stop talking…. so now i’m asking you! Let’s answer these together 🙂 . I will post each question on my Instagram story in a daily poll and share the feedback… so follow me!

  1. Separate accounts in a marriage… yes or no?
  2. Adopt or foster… yes or no?
  3. Change your appearance because bae isn’t feeling it…. yes or no?
  4. Date someone of a different race… yes or no?
  5. Move for bae… yes or no?
  6. Discuss sex… not encounters… with your friends… yes or no?
  7. Discuss relationships with your friends… yes or no?
  8. Talk to your parents about relationships… yes or no?
  9. Share your dreams, goals, plans with friends… yes or no?
  10. Cook for a boyfriend or girlfriend… yes or no?
  11. Clean a boyfriend or girlfriend’s place…yes or no?
  12. Sex before marriage… let be real… yes or no?
  13. Lend money to friends or family… yes or no?
  14. Stop paying tithe because your spouse isn’t down with that… yes or no?
  15. Ladies… date a shorter guy… yes or no?
  16. Ladies… date a younger guy… yes or no?
  17. Fellas… date a taller lady….yes or no?
  18. Fellas… date an older lady… yes or no?
  19. End a friendship with someone if bae (not husband or wife) doesn’t like the person…. yes or no?
  20. Start working out if bae thinks you’re “too thick”… yes or no?
  21. Date someone with kids… yes or no?
  22. Date someone who is divorced… yes or no?
  23. Tell a friend their bae is cheating (dating)…yes or no?
  24. Tell a friend their spouse is cheating… yes or no?
  25. Date a friend’s ex… yes or no?
  26. Pray on a date…yes or no?
  27. Date someone of a different religion… yes or no?
  28. Remain friends with an ex… yes or no?
  29. Cohabitate before marriage… yes or no?
  30. Cry at work or in class.. yes or no?

Don’t forget follow me on Instagram to see what other people think! Share your questions with #MzBQuestions or DM me.

Leave your comments below. If you have any confidential questions or comments, you can message me privately!

-Lots of love ❤

MzB

#iamSeye

#iamSeye

So I started a blog and no one knows why, I barely know why I started. What I do know is that I always felt like I had nothing to share but I guess I was wrong about that….

Any who… for those who want to know more about me. I’ve decided to share about myself. Who am I?

Well here we gooooooooo!

  • Name: Seye.. lol duh
  • Age: 27
  • Birthday: May 15
  • NationalityNIGERIAN
  • Occupation: Logistics Analyst & Wedding Planner
  • School: U of Pittsburgh.. Go Panthers!
  • Location: Maryland
  • Siblings: Yes- older brother, little sister… they love me
  • Status: Single… and very much satisfied 🙂
  • Greatest accomplishment: stepping out in faith and launching The Willow
  • Greatest fear: not fulfilling my calling and living a purposeless life 😦
  • Religion: Christian- I love me some Jesus
  • Children: 2 or 4 coming soon… God willing!
  • Fave Bible verse: Philippians 4: 6-7
  • Fave Movie: Dirty Dancing
  • Fave food: Yam Porridge (Asaro)
  • Fun fact: I’m a secret baby… i cry a lot.. i have excess water in my body lol
  • Most random thing done lately: Cut my hair …
  • Dream Vacation Destinations: Fiji & Maldives
  • Likes:
    • ice cream
    • selfies
    • food
    • music
    • Family- I have so many fake cousins and by force siblings… love you all ❤
    • sleeping
    • weddings
    • people
    • hugs
    • Mens lol
    • chai tea
    • loudness.. i tend to get passionate lol
    • Destiny Church love it!!!!
    • Thanksgiving … gobble gobble
    • babies – age 2 and under only lol
    • shoessssssssssssssssssssssss.. i have to many to count.. it’s really a problem
    • Fall fashion ❤
    • pretty pictures
    • journaling… well writing in my journal.. i guess that’s not a word yet -_-
    • Nigerian movies
    • books… this is a miracle… I used to hate reading and my dad would make me read Readers Digest by force but thank God for his diligent spirit… now I can’t stop buying books. My favorite book, besides the Bible of course… Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst
    • Massages
    • Mani/Pedis
    • self love! Nobody can love you more than you love yourself… well besides Jesus 🙂
    • gum…not sure i can continue this.. i just got 2 root canals… they were horrible!!! stay away from candy people!
    • wearing black
  • Dislikes:
    • bananas…
    • pickles
    • jello.. the texture is just not okay
    • silence
    • awkward people
    • Pride
    • liars 😦
    • bugs
    • outdoors
    • wet hair
    • colorful food… i can’t really explain this
    • pencils
    • biology
    • chemistry
    • Amala & Fufu
    • Railcars … the thought of them annoys me thanks to my job

If you want to know anything else… just ask!

Lots of Love

-MzB

Wedding Planner… yay or nay ?

Wedding Planner… yay or nay ?

WP

One of the most important days in any woman’s life is her wedding day! This day is one that many have thought about for sooo long while others just wing it and enjoy it when the time comes. Where do you fall…? Have you been planning your big day since you were five… or are you like me, ready to get it over with and just enjoy the marriage? Many people enjoy all the intricacies of planning a wedding while others would gladly have someone else do it. I definitely fall into the latter. Yes, I’m a wedding planner who does not want to plan her own wedding.

As a wedding planner I guess my response to this question would be somewhat biased, but even if I wasn’t, I would always say Yay!!! Why do all that work when you could have someone who enjoys the process, have fun making your dream a reality?? I understand that wedding planning is intimate and very special, but if you could get someone else to use their expertise while you prepare to do life with a stranger, why wouldn’t you?

For many wedding planners, engagement season is when all the fun begins for us. Meeting new clients, venue outings, talking to vendors and beginning the planning process can be extremely exciting but it’s also means time to get to work. From building new client portfolios to booking clients, the organized chaos begins! So if we enjoy this “organized chaos”, why would so many brides choose to do it themselves? I don’t know but I have a few ideas:

  1. They are CRAZY, lol
  2. They enjoy this organized chaos
  3. They are CRAZY, no but really 🙂
  4. They suffer from I can do it on my own syndrome
  5. They think it would be fun
  6. They have Nobody will accurately execute what is my brain syndrome
  7. They have control issues
  8. They are DIY queens!
  9. They just genuinely enjoy planning things.
  10. The cost doesn’t justify the services provided

I’m a wedding planner and I know it is a fun adventure from meeting the bride to watching everything come to life. The idea of helping someone plan, execute and celebrate their special day brings joy to my heart. Unlike many planners, I do not necessarily have a price list because I am open to customizing something just for my clients. Depending on your budget, I will try to make your dreams a reality. Want to know more?

Shoot me an email. The Willow

-MzB

The Willow

The Willow

So I decided to officially start my own wedding and event planning company in August of 2017. After moving to Maryland to begin my new chapter, I decided it was time to step out in faith and do something big. Planning had always been a passion of mine, so why not get paid to do it, I thought. The thing is, when I moved here, I was scared to step out. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the Maryland Wedding Industry, it is supersaturated with Nigerian wedding planners. I didn’t want to become another Nigerian planner. I knew I wanted to do something different but I didn’t know how to separate myself.

I remember doing research on all the planners in Maryland and it just seemed like there were a million and one already here. How do I stand out, what makes me different, why would people want to work with someone with no website, no clients, no Instagram, no reviews and frankly no experience in Maryland? All these horrid thoughts crowded my head but I was sure that this is what God wanted me to do. I began looking for people to shadow and intern with hoping someone would want free help, at the end of the day I had 4 years experience planning and running weddings, so why would they say no? Fortunately for me, all I received was no after no after no. Why fortunately, well it was God’s way of telling me to be bold and courageous and not to be afraid. He was telling me that I didn’t have to hide under the covering of someone else’s business because He will support me and help me build mine.

Now it was time to create a business… what will the name be? I tried to come up with names but nothing seemed right. I even went as far as to recruit family and friends and bribe my little cousins with a share of a no-name business if they came up with great name. All those efforts yielded nothing….Nothing! I remember one day while praying, I knelt down on the floor in the room and said “God i will not leave this spot until you give me a name”, I guess it was my little version of Jacob wrestling with God. A few minutes later I heard very clearly “Willow“. I remember thinking… “huh, Willow…? Like Willow Smith? God what is a willow?” It sounded so weird but it was just perfect, well compared to my previous idea of Sashey’s Soirees , LOL.

So why Willow? Well, I googled Willow I found, “slender, graceful, resilient, determined, courageous and beautiful”. All words that I hoped to God defined me… well slender maybe if i keep going to the gym, but the rest just seemed so perfect. It was like God was encouraging me to become more like a Willow. The next day I spoke to my Aunt who said Willow… that’s perfect you can name your event center The Willow and I laughed because i knew this is a dream that God placed on my heart and I am excited to see it happen.

So where is Willow now and how is it going? In the 5 months The Willow has been alive, I have booked 4 weddings. Can somebody say GOD IS FAITHFUL!!! With no reviews, no brochures, no pictures, no MD experience, no nothing… God continues to show himself. He has shown me that all it takes is a little faith

Join me on my wedding journey… follow @thewillowevents

Lots of Love!

-MzB

 

For wedding planning inquiries…click here!

info@thewillowevents.com

240-389-3164.